Check out the prologue to "Alone In The Light" by clicking here

An excerpt from: Alone In The Light

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Starting Over

Tonight, standing in my garage, I looked at the wall covered in photos and memorabilia from my life...  and while these things bring me joy to look at, to remember the times and places I'd been, they're holding me back... They're preventing growth. They are a tomb in which I've housed my creativity, never to be used again. They've become an altar to my past in which I pray my previous works and deeds will be enough to get me through life... and that's not how it works.

It is time to move forward. 

I need to remember why and how I accomplished all of these things and do them again. I don't want to wear these images and tokens from my past like a moth-worn letterman jacket. I want them to be streamers attached to the guidon of my life... And I want to add more with each passing day.

2020 and 2021 have been a real eye-opener for me. I became an award-winning author. I found a great job. I like what I do. I get compensated very well for my time and efforts... And that leaves me with the ability to let go of the past and move forward. It gives me a freedom to break the shackles of looking backward and set my sights on the future... 

I am going to create more.

I am going to draw, and take photos.

I am going to write another book - Sexy vampires in Space! Volume ONE! ... wait, that's been done I think... Or maybe I'm just thinking of Twitter? 

... where was I? Oh, right ... 

I'm going to make it my goal in life to help other people do what they want to do! What's your dream? What are you going to do in 2022?  Stop looking back and saying, "That was the best I'll be." and, instead, say, "That was just the beginning."


I took down my wall of stuff... my altar to the younger me. I cleared out the whole area. I moved shelves, threw things in the trash, ripped old photos down, and I've made space for the next chapter in my life. In OUR lives actually... mine and A.J.'s.

There are big things in the works here, kids—Big, awesome, wonderful, strange, and terrifying things!

And it's going to be fucking awesome.


Sunday, November 7, 2021

As a Thank You for Veterans Day


This week, we take time to honor our Veterans. We say thank you for all that they've done and all that the continue to endure after they've come home.

It's not always easy to come home from the war and return to a "normal life" in the civilian world - and this is something I have tried very hard to portray in Alone In The Light. I have taken great pains to show the physical, mental, and emotional trauma that plagues many of our veterans after they come home.

I wanted to share these experiences with the world. Both veterans and civilians alike - to help understand that when we say "We're fine" that we're not always fine. We like to put on a brave face, keep moving, and soldier on... but it's not always easy.

And so, for the next 5 days - I am giving this book away. As a thank you to my fellow veterans in an effort to maybe help them see they're not alone and as a way for their friends and family to possibly see what's going on inside.

From Monday, November 8th, until midnight on  Friday, November 12th - I will be lowering the prices of my paperback and hardcover to the lowest amount allowed by amazon:

$8.22 for the paperback. (Normally $16.99)

$16.00 for the hardcover. (Normally $22.00)

In addition: The eBook will be 100% free Monday, November 8th, until midnight on  Friday, November 12th this is free to EVERYONE with the Kindle App.

This means I get $0.00 for these sales

I don't care about the money. I care about helping to spread understanding to our friends and families.

Please help me say Thank You by spreading this news and telling your friends and family members who want to know what it can be like for those of us facing our demons - within and without.


Lastly - I ask you all to check out these organizations for yourself, your fellow veterans, or your veteran family members:



Til Valhalla Project - Starting in 2019 Til Valhalla Project donates an additional 20% of net proceeds towards reducing veteran suicide; we have now raised over $870,000 toward the battle against veteran suicide. 


Mission 22 - Funding veterans to receive treatment for Post Traumatic Stress, Traumatic Brain Injury and other issues they may be facing. The Mission 22 campaign has brought veteran issues to millions of people so that they too can make a difference. Awareness precedes change and without it we can not heal our nation. 




The Gary Sinise Foundation - The Gary Sinise Foundation serves our nation by honoring our defenders, veterans, first responders, their families, and those in need. We do this by creating and supporting unique programs designed to entertain, educate, inspire, strengthen, and build communities.

Thank you.

Keep moving forward!

Thursday, September 9, 2021

"The story is there, I just need to tell it."

Today is September 9, and 8 years ago, I wrote, "The story is there, I just need to tell it." Well, 8 years later I'm an award-winning author with over 3,000 copies of my book in circulation, a professionally produced Audiobook with amazing narrators, and a National re-release coming on November 9, 2021 through my Publisher, Hurn Publications. 

It's a very exciting time for me.

Saturday, September 11th, 2021 will be the Ripley County Reads Author Fair! I will be in attendance with 20 other authors, including the author of Paige's Story and Tales of Fort Thomas - the very talented, A.J. Bass.

I'm excited about this Author Fair, but I don't know why... It's here in Batesville which is smalltown, USA. But maybe more local people will see my work and A.J.'s work and connect with us on a "We all live here" level. I mean, part of my book takes place in Batesville, so that's a plus.

On the down side... I will probably not have any books to hand out/sell, which blows.

According to my publisher, there is a massive nationwide backlog of printing and my books will not be ready in time. So I'm going to go in with my smile, the last 5 copies I have in the house, and I'm just going to have fun with it. 

I'll be shaking babies and kissing hands!!

...Wait, reverse that! 

Anyway, I've been absent on social media lately, and I'd like to say it's because I'm working on the next book. But that would be a lie. Like, Pants-On-Fire levels of a lie. I haven't written anything substantial since the book went off to the presses the first time. I've got ideas floating around and I've got snippets of stories that I can see and want to explore, but I can't see them fully yet... so they have to wait.

In the meantime, I hope you'll all join me and A.J. on Saturday. Come in, get some coffee, buy some books, eat a scone... get a free Omega pin to wear. Then go explore the town. see the Farmer's Market, eat at The Big Four, and see why we made this town our forever-home.

Until next time! 

-Ben 

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Giving Thanks; An Abridged List Of The Good Stuff In Life

Happy Thanksgiving

Every year, we sit around the table and give thanks. And with it being 2020 and all, we're having trouble finding those little things we're thankful for... I mean, it's been just a shitty year overall am I right? And not just with COVID... the whole year just seems to WANT to make life suck. 

But we're pulling through... We're moving forward to a better and brighter tomorrow free of the crap that this year will end up leaving by the wayside... And I am thankful for that. I am actually thankful for a lot of stuff... And  here's my list... It's not complete, but I'm calling 90%


I'm thankful for my family.

My wife who loves me and puts up with all of me strange little idiosyncrasies (It's a $2.00 word. Look it up). She lets me do my thing. She lets me lean on her when I need help and she leans on me when she needs it. We are a team.

My kids who, even though I want to sell them from time to time, are the absolute light of my universe. Nothing takes the sting out of a bad day quite like an adorable 6-year-old telling you they "had the biggest poop ever in the history of the world..."

My brothers and their families who are always there if I need them. We don't agree on sports, but we agree on being family... and that's what matters.

My mom and dad are, without a doubt, the only reason most of you even like me. I mean, let's be honest, I won the parent lottery. They're supportive. They listen to my thoughts and ideas and, even when they disagree, don't judge me for it. If anything, our differences have made us a stronger family.

My adoptive family... Those of you who I talk to and lean on when I'm about to lose it. The people who take me hunting and show me how to do things I've never done and laughing at me when I cut my finger off. The recipe-sharing friends on Facebook who have brought me into their inner circle and given me Grandma's super-secret cookies recipe.

I'm thankful for my health. To date, I do not have COVID19 or something worse.

I'm thankful for employment. A lot of people in the music/performance industry are still without pay. They are still waiting for things to change. I was fortunate to find new employment in my hometown and that alone has kept me sane... and insured which is a HUGE thing in our "please don't get sick and die" society.

I am thankful for opportunities that are still around.

I am thankful for science.

I am thankful for antibiotics, science-fiction, and the internet.

I am thankful that we have Zoom and Facetime during this pandemic.

I am thankful for the ability to mute people who are too dumb to spell pandemic, yet fully capable of hitting that share button on every racist meme they can get their hands on.

I am thankful that I can say "no" to spending time with people who are toxic in my life and not feel bad about it... or guilty.

I am thankful that I don't have to say no to people who aren't toxic. You are always welcomed and I will help you in any way I can.

I am thankful for bourbon.

I am thankful for this awesome spatchcocked, buttermilk-brined turkey I'll be cooking tomorrow.

I am thankful that my mental health isn't a giant vortex of anger and depression despite the world we live in.

I am thankful for Hornady Custom 300 grain XTP 44 Mag and the CVA Hunter rifle that fires it.

I am thankful for a freezer full of meat and a pantry full of food.

I am thankful that Angie and I have had the good fortune to publish books.

I am thankful for all the people who have read those books and ask us for more.

I am thankful for coffee.

I am thankful for music.

I am thankful for audiobooks and the people who create them.

I am thankful that I can still hear despite the constant, high-pitch ringing in my right ear.

I am thankful to still be alive after 42 years, 3 colleges, 1 war, 1 marriage, 2 kids, 5 apartments, 2 houses, 6 cats, and a dog... 

I am thankful for my dog, Boomer.

I am thankful to be me.


What about you, dear reader? What are you thankful for this year?

Monday, April 13, 2020

Living Behind The Wire

A couple of days ago, two of my Twitter friends were discussing "life at home" and how it is very much like being on deployment - with the military.

I'll be damned if that didn't hit home really hard.

This whole "Quarantine" thing is very much like being deployed. And that has its good moments and bad moments.... and a WHOLE lot of downtime and boredom.

Let me give you the quick and dirty - 
90% of life on deployment is spent sitting on your cot/bunk being bored out of your mind, unable to go anywhere or do anything. You are stuck with the same people day in and day out. You desperately await the arrival of new mail so you can, hopefully, read something new or get a new snack. You can do PT (work out), you can eat, you can read and re-read the same book and magazine, and you can walk circles around your living area... It's boring.

Yep... It is boring, and, strangely, quite normal on the outside. You do your job, you go on with the day to day shit - but you're confined to one small plot of land for a VERY long time. It's seemingly safe and secure, but you know that outside the wire is potential trouble and death. But despite that fear, you're inside the wire, and you try to live normally... knowing very well that this is not normal.

You call your parents and loved ones, you chat with them on the phone - but you can never hug them or have dinner with them. You can order things to do from the internet, but it takes time to get to you. Your normal routine is gone... and now you're just trying to make the best of your 2 square miles of land and the same 9 people you spend every waking minute with. Privacy is basically gone. Alone time is relegated to the bathroom visits.

This is what we're experiencing right now... stuck at home, trying to be normal while NOT being normal. Welcome to life on deployment, folks!

I'd like to say it gets better, but that's only partially true - you get numb to it. Which is the best you're going to get. You find ways to cope with never having a true moment of privacy. You find ways to make a routine of this new life... And, eventually, you'll forget about the stress of what's outside the wire... And this is where being deployed is actually easier... When the only source of news is AFN during mealtime, you aren't under a constant assault of social media posts and news stories that fill you with anxiety and dread... you just sort of get 10 minutes of news when you're eating... then have an ice cream on your way out of the DFAC, and forget about it as you go back to living your quarantined lifestyle.

This is where we are folks... unsure of when our deployment will end, stuck with the same people and the same locations for an unknown amount of time, and trying to make the best of it and not think too much about what's happening outside the wire...

And it sucks.

So, how do we deal with this?

Some people take to it with ease and love it. Some people lose their shit and end up trying to go AWOL. Some people end up with PTSD from the sheer life altering change in "the norm." It's true...

The best advice I can give you is try to find a routine. Try to find a schedule at home. Try to not dwell on all the ifs, buts, and stress of life "outside the wire." It's different for everyone... And no one answer will fit.

For me? I'm working on stopping smoking. I'm reading books. I'm eventually going to try to write something... On the day-to-day, I wake up every day by 8. I make breakfast for the family. We do homework, play games, eat lunch at 12:00... we have snacks at 3:00... we have the kids help cook their meals. We call the grandparents. We try to have a routine.  We do NOT watch the news very much. We do NOT spend all of our time Doom-Surfing the internet. We do NOT try to sneak out and go do things we're not supposed to do...

And it sucks.

Look, I'll be honest - I've lived through deployments before and they all have one thing in common - they'll eventually end. We just have to ride this out for a while. When it's over, we'll all have to go through a new adjustment period - just like we're doing right now.

Keep your shit together, folks. Take turns being the strong partner/friend. We all have shoulders to lean on... and we're probably all going to need one at some point.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Mental Health During Quarantine

So, uh, yeah. Where do I start?

I've had an eventful 41 years so far... but this is my first nationwide lock-down/quarantine. So, you know, good times! My kids will now be out of school until May 1 at the earliest and I am moderately concerned about my employment in the foreseeable future... but that's a blog post for a different day.


Today, we're talking about being cooped up in the house for a LONG time and how this can really mess with your mental health.

Now, if you're me, you can sit at home and not deal with the outside world for weeks on end and be perfectly happy. But, that's not good advice. Instead - here is how to prevent yourself from having a complete mental breakdown.

First - it is important to maintain a clean environment. When you get up in the morning - make your bed. Pick up your dirty clothes. clean your dishes and don't let them pile up.... Don't let your personal space devolve into a pigsty. That will drain you in a hurry. This is my most important lesson.

Shower EVERY DAY. That's right. Clean yourself and then put on clean clothes... You feel much better once you've showered.

Eat. And not ALL THE TIME. I mean, eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Try to keep the snacking to a minimum.

Try to get some sort of movement in your day. No treadmill? Fine. Do some small exercises. Anything to get you up off of the couch, off of your phone or computer, and get the blood flowing. It doesn't have to be P90X or some insanely expensive online service. Just do some damn jumping-jacks and sit-ups. Maybe some body-weight squats.... ANYTHING.

Once the boredom starts to eat at you - take this as a time to learn a new hobby, craft, language, trade... anything. There are literally thousands of videos online to teach you fun, new things! Want to learn sign language? DO IT! Want to learn how to hit on that hot Croatian girl down the hall? LEARN THE LANGUAGE! You've got time... and you should take advantage of that time. Hell, take the time to Spring Clean your house/apartment/cardboard box. I mean like Marie Kondo that shit!

And last - try to limit your social media intake. Jesus on a roller coaster.... nothing is more toxic than social media right now.

Focus on yourself and your family (if you have one living with you). Try to better yourself while the world seems to fall apart on the outside.... Might as well come into the apocalypse knowing how to set snares for rabbits and squirrels! *free online videos for that!*

Take care of yourself, people. We'll all get through this. It'll pass... maybe like a kidney stone... but it'll pass.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Achievement Unlocked - F*CK YOU, STUDENT LOANS!

Good morning, world!

Despite the dumpster fire raging across the land, I've been on a mission to find a silver lining - something that would bring me joy and make my life less... stressful. Aside from watching the news, what is the most stressful thing I can think of? - Student Loans.



It's hard to enjoy life when you're barely scraping by some months. Add to that the mandatory student loan payment every month on top of your other bills - things get uncomfortable. So you ask for lower payments and occasional forbearances to give you breathing room. The good people at Navient and the Dept. of Education don't care. They're still going to charge interest while you try to come up for air.